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 Yu-Gi-Oh 5Ds The Movie

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Daco
PokéPerson
PokéPerson
Daco

Posts : 16
Join date : 2009-09-02
Location : England

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PostSubject: Yu-Gi-Oh 5Ds The Movie   Yu-Gi-Oh 5Ds The Movie EmptyWed Sep 02, 2009 2:00 am

Chapter 1 - That Dark Shadow

Well In The Town Of New Domino City A Duelest, Yusei Fudo

Yusei Fudo Woke To A Loud Noice It Was A Earthquake. Yusei A Woke A Ran Outside To Get On His Duel Runner And He Saw A Faint Shadow It Was Of His DEAD Father.

He Chased It But The Shadow Vanished It Was A Mystery. The He Turned Around A Saw A....[b]
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AceOfAura
Poké Professor
Poké Professor
AceOfAura

Posts : 53
Join date : 2009-09-01
Location : UK

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PostSubject: Re: Yu-Gi-Oh 5Ds The Movie   Yu-Gi-Oh 5Ds The Movie EmptyWed Sep 02, 2009 2:25 am

Your style of writing... it is different. And a bit short for one chapter. He is my re-worked version.


Well, to begin with, in the town of New Domino City, a Duelist, Yusei Fudo, awoke to a loud noise... It was an earthquake! Yusei jumped out of bed and ran outside, hopped on his Duel Runner. Just as he did, he saw a faint shadow. But this was no ordinary shadow... It was the shadow of his DEAD FATHER!

He chased after the shadow, but suddenly it fanished. Yusei was puzzled, it was a mystery. As he turned around, he saw a...

That's just something I thought would be good. Try your writing style like that.
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The-Golden-Warrior
PokéPerson
PokéPerson


Posts : 35
Join date : 2009-09-01

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PostSubject: Re: Yu-Gi-Oh 5Ds The Movie   Yu-Gi-Oh 5Ds The Movie EmptyWed Sep 02, 2009 11:38 am

agreed, a little short, but from what i can see this is going to be great.

[/End 5D's fanboy]
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CrimsonPichu

CrimsonPichu

Posts : 9
Join date : 2009-09-02

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PostSubject: Re: Yu-Gi-Oh 5Ds The Movie   Yu-Gi-Oh 5Ds The Movie EmptySun Sep 06, 2009 4:00 am

looks good:)
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PostSubject: Re: Yu-Gi-Oh 5Ds The Movie   Yu-Gi-Oh 5Ds The Movie Empty

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